Sex -- Can you do without it?

What is our sexual capacity?  I don't know how anyone can actually answer that question.  Our feelings about sex are the only ones we've ever known.  We certainly don't know how we compare with others because we're not inside their bodies.

My late brother probably had a very high capacity for sex, but I only say that because he told me so.  When he passed a few years ago he was on his 4th wife.   He conceded on the phone, shortly before, that his life could've been so much more successful and enjoyable if it were'nt for his libido.  Many years ago Mom and Dad (both JW's as I was at the time) told me about visiting my brother and his wife at the time.  While all were sitting in the kitchen, talking -- a young neigbor lady paid a visit.  She was obviously well along, heavy with child, as she walked over to my brother.  Brother introduced her and then patted her swollen tummy, bragging that it was his child.

I adopted two of his children some 47 years ago because he threatened to put them into foster care.  Yes, his libido had many negative consquences.

Then there are the folks that we all see on occasion that have never been married, are never seen with a significant other, and seem totally content.  I realize we can't peek behind closed doors but my gut feel is that they are sexually neutral -- if there is such a phrase.  I suppose you could place the Pope and the Watchtower's governing body into this category.  Of course, they are the ones who cast a harsh eye toward anyone having illicit sex.

Back to my original question -- and let's make it a bit less direct -- can some folks live without sex completely?  Are some people neutral?

Len

People have varying levels of interest in sex.  Some people are miserable unless they are having sex several times a week, other people are quite content having sex once or twice a month.  A person's desire for sex is completely individual, and it's not necessarily constant throughout their lifetime.

This is a completely separate phenomenon from the desire for sexual novelty or new partners.  There are people who want to have sex frequently, but are completely content to always do so with the same person.  Other people prefer to "hit and quit it" - once they've had sex with a particular partner, they are ready to move on to someone new. 

A little light reading before Lunch: 60 years of research locating the G Spot, Dr. Debby Herbenick.

  " Sex - Can you do without it ? " One word- NO.  It's a normal human function like eating, peeing, drinking water, and walking. Only been celibate 1 year out of my adult life since age 19. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

I have to because my wife told me she did not want to have sex any more with me.  I never knew why.  I don't hate her but i ever said any thing negative to her or got angry.  This started after she was injured badly in a moter vehicle roll over.  I accepted her wishes.     

With men, you need to differentiate between sex with a partner and all other forms of sexual release.  

Can a man live his entire life without ever having sex with a partner?  Yes

Can a man live his entire life with no sexual release at all?  Usually not

If a man is normal and healthy and everything is working properly, the sexual appartus is producing a fluid and the fluid is being stored.  Like all bodily systems, that capacity is finite.  Sooner or later, it has to go somewhere.

The body can reabsorb semen to a certain extent but eventually it will congeal internally resulting in a condition called congestive prostatitis. This is characterized by pain in the testicles and perineal region and sometimes a small discharge of blood during erection.  Typically a man with this condition will see a urologist and guess what he'll be told to do?

TD, you never met Fred Franz did you.

Speaking as a male no for reasons previously stated but females ???

How bout it ladies, whats your take on sexuality ?

As for me on a personal level, no I couldn't do without sex.  When I was a teenager, my level of interest in sex was a lot higher than it is now.  As I get older and have a guaranteed enthusiastic partner (thanks dear), I find that illness, stress, or being preoccupied with something results in a lessening of my libido.  I guess it's because I know I can get it whenever I want it, so I'm not always obsessing about when I'll get another chance to get some.

Yes, but why would I?

There are some asexual people.  There were forums on it and they had categorized themselves--something like attracted to opposite sex, attracted to same sex, not attracted to anyone at all.

I did know someone who was asexual according to the above categories.  Literally a 40-yr-old virgin.  She was attracted to the opposite sex in an extremely immature manner--about age 4-level or so.  She had kissed a boy once in her life but nothing else.  The boy was very intoxicated and heartbroken at the time, otherwise he wouldn't have come near her. 

She masturbates.  She has extreme crushes on married celebrities who live on the opposite coast (unattainable).  She was going to take classes on how to work in the movie industry so she could meet them, but made an excuse of her weight precluding her from working the cameras.  She keeps her body deliberately in a way to repel others* so whenever she says she needs to start dating she has an excuse, "I have to lose weight first."

She can barely speak when a male is in the room.  She rambles on in a silly manner.

I believe there are others who function well without sex, maybe they are the ones who don't have a desire to be with a partner?

*By this I mean she intentionally keeps herself heavy & gets nervous when sick & loses a few lbs.  She deliberately wears baggy clothing, threadbare bras that don't do their job and doesn't treat her scalp psoraisis so it snows on you if you're nearby.  She acknowledges this is all done to repel others.

How's that for a story?  lol

Rebel, I'd say your acquaintance is not asexual since she feels attraction and masturbates.  She sounds like she has major issues, but lack of sex drive isn't one of them.  

I have to because my wife told me she did not want to have sex any more with me.

Given this communication, it would be unreasonable for your wife to insist or expect that you would not have sex with someone other than your wife.  Celibacy is abnormal and unhealthy; if your wife isn't going to perform her matrimonial obligations, she should expect that someone else will.

No, and thank god I currently don't have to. My husband is disabled because of his chronic pain.  He still wants and enjoys sex.  Says the endorphins take away some of the pain and being able to make love to me keeps him alive.

Will there come a time when he can't perform sexually in any way?  Maybe, but that day hasn't come yet and I'm hoping it's a ways off.

Masturbation is not a sin.

People can do without sex. (though in the case TD presented above, some still require a release of some sort)

People DO do without sex, so obviously they can.  Not all of them.  There is no one size fits all here.  But no one can say what someone else can or cannot do without.  

144 - what of a spouse who becomes parapalegic for some reason or another, and can no longer perform? That is not the case of someone unwilling to perform... but unable to perform.  I agree that it would be one hell of a tough situation for either spouse, but some people will stay faithful no matter the physical hardship that might cause.  Because the vow was for better or for worse, in sickness and health, good times and bad.  It should be between the pair of them what they decide to do.  No one else really gets an opinion.

Peace,

Tammy

I am in a sexless marriage. It's been 3.5 years.  My husband says he can't, er, perform anymore.  Medication is contraindicated.

I love him very much and he is otherwise affectionate.  But it must be that he no longer wants ME, because there ARE things other than intercourse.  In refusing those things as well, he has hurt me very deeply.  I'm not overweight, I take care of my looks, I'm working out and really toning up....

I am taking it one day at a time.  I cannot allow myself to think, "I'll never have sex again".  I'm 56.  That's too young to do without forever.

Somehow, this will work out.  At least that's what I have to keep telling myself.

Back to my original question -- and let's make it a bit less direct -- can some folks live without sex completely?  Are some people neutral?

Well "of course" to all of the above.   The bulk of our individual sexuality is as much a part of our personal genetic code as our eye-color. 

Well, there's one of my favorite singers, Morrissey.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morrissey

Morrissey's sexuality has been a matter of conjecture, and this has been fuelled by many conflicting statements from the singer, none of which has ever explicitly stated his sexual orientation. Encyclopædia Britannica states that he created a "compellingly conflicted persona (loudly proclaimed celibacy offset by coy hints of closeted homosexuality)" which has "made him a peculiar heartthrob."^[112] "Morrissey has always taken great pains to maintain the 'undecidable' nature of his sexuality." In 1983 he claimed to be "a kind of prophet for the fourth sex," on the grounds that he was "bored with men and ... bored with women." In 1984, he stated that he refused "to recognise the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual" because "everybody has exactly the same sexual needs."^[113] A 1984 Smiths article in Rolling Stone stated that Morrissey "admits he's gay," but Morrissey replied that it was news to him and the article used the term "fourth-gender" in its title.^[114]

The speculation was further fuelled by the frequent references to gay subculture and slang in his lyrics. In 2006, Liz Hoggard from The Independent noted, "Only 15 years after homosexuality had been decriminalised, his lyrics flirted with every kind of gay subculture"; for example, she claims that "This Charming Man" "is about age-gap, gay sex."^[100] Reviewer Stephen Thomas Erlewine claims lyrics to the Smiths single "Hand in Glove" contain very thinly "veiled references to homosexuality."^[115]

Throughout much of his career, he maintained in interviews that he was asexual and celibate. Johnny Marr stated in a 1984 interview that "Morrissey doesn't participate in sex at the moment and hasn't done so for a while, he's had a lot of girlfriends in the past and quite a few men friends."^[116] In 1986, Morrissey claimed that he was "dramatically, supernaturally, non-sexual." In a 1994 interview, he claimed that "sex is actually never in my life," and as such, he argued that "I have no sexuality." In 1995, he claimed "I'd like to have a sex life, if possible."^[113] In a 1997 interview, he revealed he had been in a relationship with someone for two years but that it had ended and the person in question had just stopped loving him. He did not reveal the sex of his partner or whether it was a sexual relationship. However, he did admit to caring deeply and he stated he had hoped he or she had shared similar feelings.^[117] In a 2006 NME interview, he stated he was no longer celibate, but he did not give any additional details. A 2006 article in UK paper The Independent stated the singer "... has even hinted at a late-blooming sex life."^[100] John Murphy of musicOMH has even speculated that the lyrics "Nothing entered me, 'til you came with the key" to Morrissey's 2006 song "You Have Killed Me" give reference to a sexual encounter he had.^[118]

Morrissey frequently tells interviewers who ask him about his sexuality the question is irrelevant to his music, or he gives an evasive or ambiguous response. While the debate over Morrissey's sexuality has become widespread on fan websites, including attempts to analyse the meaning of his ambiguous song lyrics, their attempts are often stymied because, as The Times critic Tom Gatti puts it, "Morrissey's music offers infinite capacity for interpretation" because "they are too flexible, too rich, too textured."^[4]

om

Dispite my age (71), I've learned a lot on this thread.  Lots of excellent comments.  I just looked up the word "eunuch" in Wiki which has much to say.  I thought the following was especially interesting.

"The most common group that actually embraces the term "eunuch" are the contemporary voluntary eunuchs, who number 7,000 to 10,000 in North America, with many more around the world.^[60][61][62] Many of these are males who have a Male-to-Eunuch Gender Dysphoria. While they are born with male genitalia, their brain tells them that they are not male, but neither are they female. They seek castration to align their bodies with their brain sex. A second large group of the contemporary eunuchs have a Body Integrity Identity Disorder. This occurs when the brain does not accept the presence of some specific body part."

"can" i....??   Tragically ,for the time being, i am making do without a sexual partner...

But i wouldnt choose it willingly.  Its a mutually fulfilling and enjoyable part of life!  Its satifies emotional and physical needs, as well as helping foster a special connection with someone.  Why would any normal person deny that...?  

The flip side is that some carry it to extremes. Random sexual encounters miss the best aspects, imho. Balance is the key in my mind.  But then we are all free to choose our path :-)